You Never Know What You Have Till It's Gone
by hollie-x
Summary: Just a quick one-shot based on tonight's e4. Nothing amazing...


**Just a quick one-shot fic based around the e4 Episode from tonight :)**

**You Never Know What You Have Till It's Gone**

What's that saying? _You never know what you have till it's gone_. I've never believed in all that shit before, surely you should make the most of your life anyway, I always have; except one very important thing in my life that I've taken for granted many times too often...

See when Cheryl left me a voicemail message telling me an accident at the wedding and Steven was at the hospital I didn't for one second think it would be as bad as it turned out to be. Maybe a broken leg, broken arm, few scratches here and there and yes I know that's bad enough anyway but they can be sorted right? A plaster cast and some tender love and care, but I didn't for one second think he'd be fighting for his life, fighting to stay alive, fighting tooth and nail to not leave this earth.

I remember running in asking anybody that I pushed past if they knew where Steven Hay was. Anybody, I just wanted to know. I wanted to know if he was okay, I wanted to know what happened, I just wanted to know he was safe and out of danger. That's when I saw him, through the window. I didn't even notice all the equipment attached to him at first. I just saw his beautiful face, albeit some dust obviously, but he looked perfect just laying there like he was sleeping.

Cheryl told me to not go in there. As if I was going to listen to her seriously. She's warned me away from Steven so many times. I'm not blaming her I know the fact we aren't together like any normal couple is because of me and me alone. That's why Steven married Douglas in the first place. Because I told to him to.

He was topless when I ran in there, see I wouldn't mind any other time but it's always bad when your topless in hospital isn't it? Topless means they have easy access if they need to add more fucking tubes, or if they had to do something to keep you alive.

I remember seeing the mask and just dropping to my knees. I had no strength whatsoever; my legs had given way I couldn't stand up. I didn't know what to do. I think I just muttered the words 'No, no.' I couldn't believe my eyes. He was fighting to stay alive; my worst fears were revealed to be true. I put my hands over my mouth, I was in shock. I felt sick to the core I just wanted to wake up from this horrid dream, nightmare. This wasn't real.

I couldn't help but blame myself. I know Steven was in the wrong place at the wrong time but somehow it was down to me. If I was honest with myself years ago then Steven wouldn't be marrying Douglas, he'd be with me. Happy. He wouldn't be at the wedding venue, he'd be with me. Some of it was on me to blame. Of course it was.

That's when I heard him. 'My Husband. My Husband. I need to see my husband.'

Douglas was running down the corridor, and stormed into the room. He didn't even bother to look at Steven all that much, try to take in how serious this was. He just told me to get out. I didn't listen to my own sister when she told me not to go into the room, why would I all of a sudden listen to him? Really?

A bit later on, Douglas seemed to just go with the flow. He knew he wasn't going to get rid of me that easily. I wasn't here to cause trouble. I knew they were married and Steven had obviously made that choice. I wasn't here to try and win him back or get Doug out of the picture, we were here for the same reason. Steven was that reason.

I didn't know where to look. They were working on Steven keeping him comfortable I suppose. Then the only sound I could here was the fucking machines. That unmistakable beep. The beep which meant an end of a life. I didn't know what to do, I just looked around. Somebody needed to help him, there wasn't that many people in there helping, they needed more. Every doctor in the building if necessary. I couldn't lose him, I really couldn't.

I couldn't look at them pushing down hard on his torso, trying to restart his heart. The same heart which I broke, the same heart Doug now had ownership of. It had stopped working, broken to the core.

I hate the bones of the man, but I had to help him I was the only one here with him. I had to be strong Steven wouldn't want me crying and blubbering like Douglas was so I just took Douglas' neck and squeezed it. That's when I heard the good beep, meaning the start of a new life, a life that I wanted to be a part of. Even if it was just a friendship that's fine by me. I'll always be there for him though.

_Forever & Always..._

**Sorry this was rushed, I'm never one who takes days and days on a fic. I just write when I'm bored so sorry if you've just wasted a few minutes of your life reading it LOL**


End file.
